


What Have You Done To Me?

by PawPatrolAir



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Mental Breakdown, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-14 15:03:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18054797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PawPatrolAir/pseuds/PawPatrolAir
Summary: Gojyo is having a bad day with past memories and bad thoughts storming throughout his mind. Can a friend help to calm him down?





	What Have You Done To Me?

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Well this wasn't something I going to write until I felt I really needed to- Gojyo is a darling and so very sweet and I can connect deeply with his character. (On the mother issues, not sibling issues) 
> 
> Though I didn't go through exactly what Gojyo did it was abuse and it still sticks with me- And as I started getting some thoughts of own earlier today I felt this would be a good way to also vent out feelings. Writing had always helped me with getting out my emotions and so here we are- I also wasn't going to add Gojyo's issues with his brother at first either- But it does match up to my fears of being left behind like I was in the past by old friends. So the whole left behind part just came in with that.
> 
> Okay so enough of this rambling! Time to read. 
> 
> \--------------------------------------------------

Gojyo felt his heart ache as he walked through the town he and the others were staying at for the night. Everyone could tell something was off with the half-breed, but when they asked what was wrong he said he didn't want to talk about it.

Thinking the fresh air would do him some good, Gojyo had went for a walk after checking in to their rooms. "It still hurts... Why is it today it's on my mind a lot? Why?" Gojyo thought, as he went on his way. "Mom..." Gojyo finally mumbled, as he felt tears forming in his eyes. "Did I actually deserve what you did to me?"

* * *

 

Back at the Inn Goku, Sanzo and Hakkai were all hanging up in one of the two rented rooms for the night. Goku was petting Hakuryuu who was laying in his lap, while Hakkai was looking out the window to the view outside and Sanzo was reading his newspaper. "Don't you two think it's rather odd of Gojyo to be acting like this?" Hakkai finally asked. "Yeah, but it's really none of our business," Sanzo replied. "Oh come on! If Gojyo is sad we should try and cheer him up!" Goku added in.

"How can we even do that when he won't tell us what's wrong, Monkey?" Sanzo growled. "It does seem to be hitting him hard, which means it would probably work best to know what's going on,"

"Maybe you should go look for him Goku and see if you can get him to open up," Hakkai said. "Well... It's worth a try," Goku nodded, as Hakkai reached down and took Hakuryuu from Goku's lap. The little dragon squeaked and nuzzled into his owner's arms, falling back asleep within a second. Then Goku got up and left to look for his friend.

* * *

 

Gojyo growled to himself as he was returning to the Inn as bad memories replayed themselves in his mind. Suddenly Gojyo saw Goku walking towards him and raised an eye-brow. "Why is the Monkey out here alone? Shouldn't Hakkai or even Sanzo be with him so he doesn't buy too much food?" The half-breed thought, as he approached Goku. "Hey, Gojyo!" Goku replied. "Hey there, Monkey. What're you up to?" Gojyo asked. "I was going to look for you actually," Goku responded. "Is something wrong?" Gojyo asked. "No... Not with me or the others... But we can tell something's wrong with you. Gojyo, please at least tell me... What's wrong?" Goku responded. He looked upon at his friend with concern in his eyes. "Did Sanzo and Hakkai room together tonight?" Gojyo questioned. "Yeah... Why?" Goku wondered. "It'll just make it easier to talk with our own space that's all. Come on to our room," Gojyo said.

Once inside their room and with the door closed Goku sat at the egde of one of the beds with Gojyo as he closed his eyes for a moment and sighed. "So... I've been thinking about my mom... Well my step-mom, but... I called her my mom... I've told you guys before about everything that happened to me growing up... And while I'm usually okay... I... get these days... And today is one of them. I'm thinking about all the abuse and if I deserved it... And no matter how hard I try to get these thoughts out of head they won't leave... I don't even feel like picking up chicks today..." Gojyo explained.

"Gojyo... It's okay. You are allowed to feel these things," Goku replied. He saw his friend turn his head away from him, not knowing that tears were once again building in his eyes. Slowly, he turned his head to look at Goku. "It's gonna be alright. Everything will be alright," Goku said. He wrapped his arms around his much taller friend and hugged him. Gojyo hugged Goku back and began to sob heavily. "Just let it out... Just let it out. I'm here for you," Goku whispered gently, as he kept on hugging his friend. "W-Why-... WHY DID SHE HAVE TO DO THAT TO ME!?" Gojyo yelped between sobs. "AND WHY DID MY OWN BROTHER HAVE TO LEAVE ME!? FUCKING ASSHOLE!"

Goku hugged Gojyo as tight as he could as his friend continued to sob and spoke up. You never did a thing to deserve that, Gojyo," Gojyo's body was now shaking as he held onto Goku for dear life. "Don't... Don't leave me, Goku... Don't let Sanzo or Hakkai leave me either... Without you three I'd be so alone...' The half-breed managed to choke out. "We won't leave you, Gojyo. We love you. You're family and we'd never leave you," Goku replied. "I love you, Gojyo. I love you. You are like the brother I've never had. And unlike your real brother I'll always make sure you're okay. I'll always make sure that you are safe," Goku said softly.

It was then that Goku felt Gojyo pull him to lay down on the bed. Goku found himself being held closely as Gojyo nuzzled his nose into the crook of Goku's neck. "You're so sweet... You can be annoying, but damn you are sweet. You're like a brother to me as well..." Gojyo managed to say as his crying began to calm down. "And I love you too,"

"I promise you'll never have to go through that again, Gojyo and I will protect you," Goku replied. "Thanks, Monkey. And I will protect you too. All of you," Gojyo responded, as he pulled Goku closer so the boys head was now resting on his chest. Goku smiled at Gojyo's words and snuggled against him.

Gojyo finally felt calmed down. He felt safe. As he held Goku close he knew he was loved. He knew he didn't deserve what had happened to him as a kid. And he'd alright.


End file.
